Addy was a present. I didn't find her under the tree on Christmas morning or running around with a bow on her head on my birthday. I was given Addy when I arrived home from the hospital during my sophomore year of high school.
My body had taken enough. I collapsed. Starving myself and working out excessively had finally gotten to me. Around the end of sixth grade (I know what you're thinking... SIXTH GRADE? Yes, sixth grade.), I decided that I wanted to be skinny. This decision came very close to ending my life. My friends would all comment on how I was so much taller than them, yet I wore the smallest size of clothing out of any of them. At school during lunch or out to eat on weekends, they'd always ask me, "Why aren't you eating?" Of course, I was just "never hungry" or had "just eaten." This vicious cycle finally came to an end when I crashed and admitted that I really needed help.
After being in the hospital for two weeks, I was allowed to go home, but under very strict conditions. I had to consume a certain number of calories per day at minimum and see my doctor once a week. Addy is a symbol of hope to me. The day I came home from the hospital, I weighed only a hundred pounds, and Addy only weighed three pounds. We were both weak together, and would gain strength together. Addy is always there for me and can brighten any day. We grew together and share something together. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life.
1 comment:
Even in 6th grade, girls are pressured to conform into this image that they are even too young to obtain. And the pressures are too much for that young of a kid to handle, especially trying to fit in all at the same time. So vulnerable these youngsters need to be educated more about the realities of becoming sick and the disillusionment around them. Girls that get suck into this obsession are not 'weak' as some would label them. When your life feels uncontrollable, it is comforting to know you can at least control your own body. Then, all you want is to look pretty maybe you don't feel so pretty or happy inside. But, one must find happiness in life and struggle out of its grasp.
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